Why Shaming People Won't Save Animals

We need to win people, not arguments

Photo credit: Jayy Torres

Dear fellow vegans,

What if I told you that a shift in our attitude would be just as impactful as going vegan in the first place — perhaps even more so?

Many vegans unknowingly make a mistake that hurts our movement more than some of the greatest external challenges we’re facing. And I’m certainly not immune. It’s a mistake that I have made numerous times, despite my best intentions.

What’s the big mistake we’re making?

The most damaging mistake we can make when advocating for veganism is approaching non-vegans with judgment, blame, or moral superiority.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m deeply passionate about the vegan cause, fully aware of its urgency, and firmly believe that science and ethics are on our side. However, while it’s natural to feel outraged by the senseless cruelty of animal agriculture, letting that anger guide our communication often backfires.

Precisely because the vegan cause is so urgent, we have a moral responsibility to ensure that our advocacy is driven by effective, evidence-based strategies rather than reactive emotions. Allowing anger to dictate our approach is not only counterproductive but ultimately selfish, as it prioritizes our personal feelings and urges over the needs of the actual victims we aim to help.

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Many of us seem to operate under the belief that if we make someone feel guilty enough, it will change their behavior. However, research shows the opposite: shaming others not only alienates people but can also entrench them further in their habits.

Dr. Melanie Joy, a Harvard-educated communication specialist and one of the world’s leading experts on the psychology of veganism, emphasizes the importance of holding people accountable with respect and fostering humility, connection, and understanding.

Why is your attitude so important?

Approaching non-vegans without judgment may not always be an easy exercise — but it offers several crucial benefits, including:

1) Reducing defensiveness

How would you feel around someone who is trying to highlight that you are fundamentally not a good person? How open would you be to what they have to say? How connected — and how secure — would you feel with them?

When people feel judged or attacked for their choices, they are less open to changing their view. They will typically withdraw, or attack in self-defense. To truly reach people, we must honor their dignity and refrain from shaming them. Successful vegan outreach isn’t about moral superiority; it’s about building trust and creating a safe space for dialogue.

2) Presenting veganism as an inclusive and attractive choice

To truly inspire others, veganism should be presented as an enticing choice, not one rooted in frustration or negativity. When we approach the conversation with kindness and good energy, our message becomes more attractive. Communicating in this way helps break down the barriers that make people feel alienated, positioning veganism as a welcoming and appealing path for everyone, not just a select few.

3) Fostering intrinsic motivation

Most people are allergic to being told what to do. Trying a new diet or lifestyle — and sticking with it — is far more likely when it stems from intrinsic motivation rather than external pressure. Instead of pushing people in a certain direction, we should aim to create an environment where they are open to the message we share. Ultimately, how they choose to respond to the message is up to them. We can’t force anyone to change, and attempting to do so will only harm our movement.

4) Living compassion

I recently came across an online post that said: “We as vegans take pride in having compassion for animals. And because humans are animals, we must show them compassion as they take steps to relearn a new lifestyle.” Of course, many people we meet aren’t yet taking steps towards veganism, and there will be frustrating encounters. However, by striving to embody kindness and compassion toward all beings — including non-vegans — as fully as possible, we remain true to our values and strengthen our credibility as advocates for the change we wish to inspire.

5) Recognizing the roots of carnism

Most people who believe in carnism haven’t consciously chosen to do so. It’s easy to forget that if we were in their shoes — if we had lived the same life, with the same upbringing, social circles, and education — we would probably make the same choices.

Rather than placing ourselves above others, we should remember that most of us, too, were once part of that system. And we should acknowledge how fortunate we are to have broken free from this distorted perception of reality. It may sound absurd, but it’s true: many meat-eaters are against needless violence and genuinely care about animals, yet they have been tricked into believing that farmed animals are raised humanely and that animal products are necessary for a healthy life.

In many cases, this isn’t malice, but the result of decades of deceptive marketing and industry-funded disinformation. Only if we treat people with respect will we have a chance to reach them with accurate information.

More to come!

Hopefully you’re convinced by now that changing our attitude towards non-vegans is worth the effort. But you may be asking yourself, how do I go about that change? It’s not as easy as flipping a switch, but it is doable, and if you succeed, you may find that you’re more able to connect to others and influence them to change their behavior (plus, a charitable attitude towards others is much better for your own mental health).

In an upcoming article, I’ll talk more about the how with specific tips for ways to develop this mindset — and apply it in practice. Stay tuned!

Conclusion

The way we approach vegan advocacy is just as important as the message itself. By fostering empathy, compassion, and genuine understanding in our interactions, we can inspire change far more effectively than through blame and judgment. An attitude of moral superiority will automatically put a wall between you and whoever you’re interacting with.

Is it absurd that people claim to be “against animal cruelty” but pay for it daily? Of course it is. But does it help us to attack or insult them? No, it won’t.

Ultimately, our goal is not to alienate but to inspire. In the context of an outreach conversation, we’re facilitators, not fighters. And we have to accept human psychology as it is; denial won’t help us. Quite the opposite.

That said, we can still hold people accountable and confront them with uncomfortable truths — provided we honor their dignity in the process. You can be direct without being dismissive, confrontational without being combative, and firm without losing kindness. Persuasion works best when it’s grounded in respect, not aggression.

Of course, it’s not an easy exercise, and we will all fail at it from time to time. And even if we do everything right, it won’t always work. Some people may even feel shame and react defensively simply because you’ve mentioned that you are vegan. But by focusing on connection and understanding, we give ourselves the best chance to plant the seeds of lasting change.

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Save this article and share it whenever you experience shaming behavior in the vegan movement. 🌱🙏

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